What I am Loving Wednesday!!

Sorry I have been such a horrible blogger this past few days! Being sickish, working, and car stuff took over my life! As always.. I welcome this positive spot!

Here is what I am LOVING on this Wednesday!!

I'm Loving... My iPhone still. Sorry, but I am :)

I'm loving.... taking walks with this beautiful girl.

I'm loving.... every time I see my U2 tickets.... just makes my day! Won't be long before Travis H. and I are basking in the wonderfulness that is Bono's voice! ha ha.

I'm loving.... hat days!! Nothing like them... mostly because I do not have to wash my hair :) Come in... do not pretend you don't have those days!

I'm loving ....Pinkberry! yummy yummy goodness!!

I'm loving... friends who don't treat me like a charity case because I am single (Jenna and Lora I am looking at you! ) I promise I still have a blog post coming shortly!

I'm loving.... the fact that I finally let myself heal enough to go to my favorite place in the world. Well in Nashville... Radnor Lake. I used to spend pretty much everyday there, but up until this week I had not been there since last October. Funny how an event in your life drags you down enough to stop doing what you love. And even though it still hurts, I am letting myself heal.

I'm loving.... Parenthood. I guess it goes along with me loving Brothers & Sisters. Temporarily fills my void for wanting my own big family and not growing up with one :)

I'm loving .....that God has blessed me with a high threshold for pain. Not being able (and not wanting to hurt my body) to take pain meds would be MISERABLE if I did not.

I'm loving... stupid things that make me laugh

I'm loving... this quote. How true is it? and how true in my own life!

I'm loving... as always... Hummus! and Greek Yogurt! YUMMY!

I'm STILL loving.... Johnny Depp. I just. can't. help. myself.

I'm loving.... this fun hair style and color. I know... you guessed it. I have the bug, and I want to do something fun with my hair...:)

I'm loving... this cute, springy outfit... and of course it is from Banana Republic. Do I shop anywhere else?

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FINALLY, I'm loving... that even though my heart was not into this today... (been a rough few weeks!) that I still get to read what everyone loves, and I am reminded of positive things and things are just plain fun!! :) Happy Wednesday everyone! Love!

Thursday's Ten: the one on FORGIVENESS

If you have read my blog at all or if you know anything that is going on with me.. you would know that I am in a season of so many things and times in my life. One being a season of forgiveness and healing. So why not do a Thursday's Ten on random facts, thoughts, quotes, and musings of forgiveness? Warning: this is a VERY simple post on forgiveness due to my lack of time, and very jumbled... so forgive me? Not my best work.. oh well :)

1. If you do not forgive you are really only hurting yourself. They are not hurting, heck they have probably moved on and have possibly even forgotten about you or whatever has happened between you. SO forgiveness is so key to healing on all levels. You can not heal, nor grow, nor move on without it.

2. Forgiveness (even for those of us blessed with the gift of Mercy, and blessed ABUNDANTLY with it) is sometimes just plain, sticking hard! I personally could have never even started on this journey of forgiveness and healing with out God... He carries me when I just want to lay on the floor and cry, or when I just want to be a witch to people. It is amazing what happens in my life when I allow the Spirit (or when He just comes in anyway) to move and work in my life.

3. Forgiveness is not about forgetting. The whole forgive and forget thing... would be nice, but that is not really what forgiveness is about. We are after all somewhat human. It is about releasing someone from what they have done to you, and releasing someone from the chains that YOU have allowed them to have on you. (After note... I wrote MOST of this awhile ago and this week saw something on a friend's status about this.. love how the Holy Spirit works in all things)

4. "Grace, like water, flows to the lowest part" -Philip Yancey. This is so true. God's grace does flow to all of us, and especially the lowest... so why can I not practice even a fraction of this?

5. Forgiveness is NOT about letting people walk all over you, and if you think it is... you missed the point. You can have a balance, which is something I am really trying to let God change in me. I often confused the 2. You will still live in the chains people have put around you if you do. You do not even have to speak to the person you forgive again. That person may not even be alive.

6. "To forgive is to set a prisoner free, and discover that prisoner was you" Lewis B. Smedes

7."Forgiving is love's toughest work, and love's biggest risk. If you twist it into something it was never meant to be, it can make you a doormat or an insufferable manipulator. Forgiving seems almost unnatural. Our sense of fairness tells us people should pay for the wrong they do. But forgiving is love's power to break nature's rule." ~Lewis B. Smedes

8."Without forgiveness life is governed by... an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation"~Roberto Assagioli which goes along with one of my favorite songs of all time by Coldplay (surprised?). Death and All His Friends:

"No I don't wanna battle from beginning to end;
I don't wanna cycle, recycle revenge;
I don't wanna follow death and all his friends".

9. Learn to forgive yourself. If you can not even learn this.. it makes it much harder to forgive others. I am learning to do this daily. Learning to accept God's mercy, God's grace, God's love, and God's beautiful forgiveness in my own life. Something that does NOT come easily for me. I often have an inkling to think that I am being "punished" for my past mistakes. In reality my Father does not act that way, because that is an inertly human behavior that we have created for ourselves in our sin and guilt that has arisen.

10. a little less serious.. I know I posted this song yesterday, but it really came to me at the perfect time!

I've been trying to live without you now
But I miss you, baby
The more I know, the less I understand
And all the things I thought I figured out, I have to learn again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my heart is so shattered
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

All the people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down, you know they hurt your pride
Better put it all behind you; cause life goes on
You keep carrin' that anger, it'll eat you up inside

Kiss Me! I'm Irish!

Happy St. Patrick's Day all! So, who has been pinched today? Anyone?? I am wearing my "Kiss Me, I'm Irish" shirt. I know what you are thinking... and yes, I am having to keep breath mints in my mouth continuously from all the people coming up to kiss me :). Okay, maybe not.. but I am getting many kisses from my loves, Heidi and Kate. I have already made them green eggs for breakfast!

I did not use to embrace my Irish-ness ( I am a quarter Irish), but this year I have decided to change my attitude and do it differently! I started to even celebrate on Monday with updating my blog with a cute 4 leaf clover, and sitting down with my boyfriends Ben and Jerry and indulging in some Mud Pie Ice Cream where I mixed in some Bailey's Irish Cream. Let me tell you... perfect combo for the Irish Cream lover. A little green food coloring, and you have your self a delish St. Patty's Day dessert!! Of course there is also the grand Irish Coffee as well if you prefer a ice cream-less treat. My deciding to embrace my Irish heritage this year is a sort of step towards healing and forgiveness, if you can believe it. I have not always been fond of the Irish part of my family, therefore, not a lot of pride in being Irish. Mostly because I do not want to take pride in the things the family stands for and has done. I also am not big on luck (even though it is cute) This year is different, this year is new, this year brings healing, joy, peace, and possibly a leprechaun. I might just start small by wearing my shirt, blogging on it, and eating my Bailey's/Mud Pie creation, and making green eggs (for the girls of course)... but hey it is a start! Who knows what next year will bring?! Happy St. Patty's Day all! :) Many Blessings!

Fun Fact: St. Patrick who this day is named after was not Irish at all! He was Romano-British and was kidnapped by Irish raiders and taken to Ireland to be a slave. :)

"There are only two kinds of people in the world, The Irish and those who wish they were. "–Irish saying

You are Beautiful my dear, So beautiful

The thoughts in the post have been swirling around in my head and heart for months, maybe even years. Not only do these thoughts resonate from my own life experiences and choices, but also from the many other loved ones in my life, as well as those who I do not know. I only know from a girls prospective on how it feels to not be beautiful, to not be good enough and to feel ashamed. I am sure guys struggle with this in their own way. The problem today is that as women we put way too much money on how guys think and look at us, especially on the outside. When we start realizing that it is not about us I wonder how much more beautiful on the inside and out we will start to feel? I know most of you would rather eat dirt and throw water balloons at me than to hear something on how "If God made us... we must be beautiful". I know, I get it. In times that I am ashamed and feel unloved.. that is not always a comfort to me. It is almost like saying.. well my mom loves me, or my mom thinks I am beautiful. Means a lot, but I mean... yah. I think everyone gets that.

This Tenth Ave. North song pierces my heart in so many different ways. I have been that teared stained girl huddled in a corner.. trying so hard to hide from everything that I have done and thought. Wondering, and pleading with God.. "How did I get here??" I have made myself feel un beautiful, unloved, and un wanted, as well as I have let others make me feel this way. Like the girl in the song.. I always know all the right answers, the rehearsed lines, I always know what to do.. but have been too weak to try. Do we really believe that the Spirit can lift us up? That He can work through us? To convict us, make us realize, and open my eyes.. to how it is not about what I have been done, but what has ALREADY been done for me and what can be done THROUGH me. To make me open my heart with arms wide open and shout out that : "I am MORE than the choices and mistakes I have made.. SO much more". We can not do it alone. When we try we get the world of shame, and brokenness that we have today. Let the Lord heal you today. Bring on the healing Lord no matter how many problems we... I create.

Another song was sent to me (by the person I love most in this world) that has not been able to leave my heart is by Mercy Me. As much as I don't like to hear it and it does not mean a lot at times.. I am the one He madly loves and chose to die for. You are that one. He madly loves you. We are treasured and scared to Him. We are so beautiful inside and out to him. As much as we all want that from a person in life (and we were made for some of that) the truth is EVEN if we have this in life.. if we don't have this with Him.. we will always have a hole in our life and we can never feel truly beautiful. No matter how much we feel unloveable, ugly, and broken.. we are loved. We will always be loved.. and we are made for SO much more. We are more than the lies we have allowed to be kept in our hearts. I pray so much for us to stop hurting each other, and stop allowing ourselves to spread hate and make people feel like they are not loved. As long as there are humans here.. it may never come to be. Which is why we have to change something in our hearts, and realize that no matter how much people step and trample on you... we are still beautiful. Beautifully and wonderfully made. It should not just be a man who has to seek God because our hearts are so close to God.. it should be the whole world. All I know is that even though those around me have given up on me and betrayed me, and even though I betray myself... God has not given up on me. He has not forgotten the plans He has for each of us. Lord, let that be enough. Let us feel beautiful.. so beautiful and loved in you. In Your arms. You won't relent until you have it all... why should I Lord? My heart is yours. Heal our souls, and heal our hearts. I want to be known for my beauty on the inside... I want it to shine out. My heart hurts for all those who feel so ugly and ashamed of themselves. My heart also hurts and pains for the role that the "church" has played in this as well. The way so many have been shunned and thrown out for their mistakes. As jumbled up as my thoughts are.. You are beautiful my dear, so terribly, wonderfully beautiful.

"You really won’t understand your life as a woman until you understand this: You are passionately loved by the God of the universe.

You are passionately hated by his Enemy.

And so, dear heart, it is time for your restoration. For there is One greater than your Enemy. One who has sought you out from the beginning of time. He has come to heal your broken heart and restore your feminine soul."

- "Captivating" -John and Staci Eldridge

MercyMe - Beautiful (Official Music Video). Watch more top selected videos about: MercyMe