Confessions of an Egyptian...

Video of Protests in Cairo, Egypt

Please watch the video above before reading...

The title of my blog right now seems so ironic seeing as what this post is about. Right now my heart is breaking. My heart is not just breaking because of this being where my mom is from and my family lives, but because a whole nation is in turmoil. People are dying, people are hurting. My heart is also breaking for all the hurtful things people are saying. I have seen and heard people voicing their opinions on this. Many do agree that there needs to be a change. Many have said they need to bomb the entire middle east. many are making light of this issue. Everyone has an opinion. People need to stop talking, and start listening. It is a beauty of this country that we can think, feel and express in the ways we want... but honestly, people are just speaking oh a whim. How about we start asking those who have lived there, or those who are living there what they want. We are trying SO hard to think about this from a Western point of view... that is not how things work over there. Americans can be so ignorant sometimes, and yes that includes me as well. I will be honest, I hate politics, but hearing everything that Hillary Clinton has to say only makes me laugh inside. I am sorry Hillary, no matter how powerful you are to us... do you really think that you, a white, Christian (we are all Christians to them), WOMAN from the U.S. is really going to make them listen to us? No way. This has nothing to do with being a Republican or Democrat.. I am neither. I with a heavy heart must point out, for those who really do not get this... not every Muslim in the Middle East is a terrorist. Sounds silly to even have to mention this, but alas because of people's long lasting ignorance and stupidity.. I do.

On a positive note, I do feel so blessed. My mom and I both have heard from so many in the form of phone calls, texts, and emails from people who care asking about our family. It is so appreciated in this time! My aunt was able to contact one of my uncles a few days ago, but my mom has not been able to talk to them. This should be a time to drive Christian's to their knees to pray.. not try to fix this or bash anyone. This should be a time for Christians, and non-christians alike to do anything OTHER then driving each other apart. Who really knows the right answer to this issue? (Links about the Nashville Egyptian community telling the paper and news how they feel: True Egyptians telling the Tennessean what they want.

Egyptians telling Channel 2 how they feel. ) I can assure you, that the average white American is not who really knows the answer. There are people over there dying, for what you and I have everyday. We might hate our government or our president... but we have never had to know what it is like to have the same president for 30 years. Bush haters.. can you imagine him for 30 years? Obama haters.. can you imagine the same? I know that God is in control of all of this. I have peace, but my heart still breaks for those who are hurting. I feel as though we need to stop trying to fix things. Stop trying to have an opinion. As I was sitting on the couch with my mom last night, watching tears come down her face watching the video of what is going on there, I could not help but think of all the people who came here (like my mom and her family) to escape the troubles and turmoil going on over there. Until one can be there themselves, they have no right to REALLY tell others what to do. Christians should be leaving this in God's hands... and Americans should be doing and helping in constructive ways. The Egyptians are fighting so hard for something they believe in... when was the last time you fought for what you believe in so hard? Or got up for your comfort of luxury and richness? If you had money for lunch today, or if you could walk across the street without hearing gun shots... count yourself blessed. My mom has always told me the story of remembering walking down the street with bombs going off. There may or may not come a time that we have to deal with this here, but most of us do not know how that feels. Talk to the ones that do know. If you don't feel led to help those over seas... no worries... we have enough pain and suffering in our own country.

Praying for Egypt...

More updates....

Released today that the President will not run again for office, but he will stay the rest of his term... more at this link.

Snow and I are DONE! Part 2

This is my LAST hating on snow blog. I think :) . I am actually NOT going to hate on snow as much as people's facebook statuses on the recent SNOW storms here in Nashville and other places.

First of all, people who move down here from other places (such as Ohio, Indiana, Colorado, New york... anywhere that it snows) who complain ALLLLLLLL the time about the drivers, how Nashville does not have enough salt and snow plows, and how we get freaked out at a few inches of snow... SHUT UP. YOU moved here, and you can not be THAT stupid to not understand how the seasons and weather work differently in different parts of the country. WHY would we know how to drive in the snow when it hardly ever snows here (except this year). ALSO.. we get ice and it is VERY hilly here. Why would be spend money on snow stuff when the exception of this year.. it does not snow here hardly ever. I would rather spend money on the homeless thank you. If it annoys you so much.. move. If i moved to Michigan would I be shocked when it snowed 12 feet? Um, no. So why should you? Everyone is just so quick to criticize. Please stop. Either that or you run for office and change it.

Finally, (NOW here me out... this does not include the working mother who has to find childcare. I respect working mothers so much.. as mine was as well. This DOES NOT include you) the mothers who complain over and over and over again about having to spend a few days with their children who are home from school. Seriously?! I understand a bad day or so, but why would you have children if you were going to be annoyed if you had to spend a day or two with them? Don't have kids if you don't want to spend time with them. You should be happy to get to spend some time with your kiddos! Just sayin...

Okay, this post was harsh. I know, but it was really just for me to get some stuff out. I don't really hate people. I love them. All people, I love you :)

On a funny note.. let us be glad this is not Nashville...

Also, if it does happen to Nashville.. here is something we can use this snow for that accumulates at our front doors :P

Miss you Friend..Happy Birthday.

Happy Birthday my dear friend. I miss you Matty. I miss you being my Taylor Swift. I miss being the Egyptian. I know I will see you again someday. Life is so precious. We never know when it will be our time, or when it will be someone we love dearly's time. I still remember when I found out you left us. I had just got back from FL. We can remember that later. For now, I want to honor you and your birthday. I hope you are partying it up in heaven. Love you man.

Snow and I are DONE! Part 1

In case anyone cares... I hate snow. My love relationship with snow is officially over. I used to think it was so pretty and glorious... the one time a year Nashville got it! Now, I have had enough. Maybe it is because I have gotten stuck in a ditch, going up a driveway, fallen down stairs, and had to walk up a steep hill to work on my knees with a 102 fever in it. Or possibly it is all the annoying people whose facebook statuses about it, I want to punch in the face (more later). I know, i seem very hostile right now. In reality, I am very peaceful, loving , anti-violent, person. :) Just not with snow at the moment. Right now I feel as though every time I see these "death flakes" a part of me dies inside. I am tired of being cold and wet. I am not in school anymore, therefore it just needs to go.

Since it does not seem that it is going anywhere... we shall deal. There are SOME good things about snow.. I am going to be "positive" for this part of the blog...

GOOD THINGS ABOUT SNOW:

1. Snow has the ability to transform the ugly brown ground and the bare trees into a majestic scene resembling that of an ice castle themed prom. Assuming I have nowhere to go, the ice encased trees and glistening snow-covered lawn can be a magical sight. It almost takes your breath away at the pure beauty…. until you step outside. Then the cold takes your breath away.

2. Little kids love it. There is some joy that comes from seeing kids bundled up from head to toe in snow gear making a lopsided snowman in the front yard. It brings back the time in life when heading out in the cold was fun and the more snow meant the better the sledding hill would be. It was magic when the FEW times I heard :David Lipscomb Campus School will be closed today!

3. It’s romantic… in theory. It would be completely wonderful to go ice skating with a nice snow fall coming down holding hands with your honey. It’s romantic until your pants are soaking wet from all the snow and you’ve fallen a million times, you have to scrape the car clean and slide into a ditch on the way home. Now, it is always romantic to sit by the fire and watch the snow fall with a good glass or wine, a good book or a good movie assuming you don’t have to leave the house for the next day or so.

4. It makes me appreciate summer. Never do I miss green grass, blue skies and 80 degrees more than when I’m stuck in a traffic slow down because of snow or having to wake up to dreary cloudy days, day after day after day.

Basically... snow and i are done. It should never snow this much in Nashville, TN. BUT since it has... we will deal. More on that in Part 2 of me rambling about snow, and continuing to be a horrible blogger :)

Stolen

Sometimes, the place you wanna run from is the place that will make you great.....

These are the words in my journal that are popping up at me today. I would say that I don't know why, but that would be a bold faced lie. I do know why... I have always struggled with wanting to run. I love to run.. recreationally and in my life. God has relinquished me from the actual actions of running so long ago( which is why i am still in nashville)... which i had to remind myself of recently. It is funny how you can overcome something and someone (an ex-boyfriend possibly) can throw it in your face and it starts to just bubble and fester and you forget... that God actually delivered you from that. Satan just used them to make you forget to celebrate God's glory and deliverance. In all this realization.. i saw what I had not allowed God to deliver me from... the WANT to run. There in lying the reason for this sentence that was so blindingly imprinted in my mind today.. almost like a billboard with cheesy flashing lights surrounding it. The places we want to run and hide from are the exact places God has places us in to mold us into who we should be. If it is His plan.. it is great! He does not have any horrible plans... just to our eyes they are at times. If we spend all of our time wanting to run from it think about what we are missing out on. so much. It is time to stop wanting to run. Time to stop wanting to be anywhere but here.

"I’m a fugitive
Running from the life that I was meant to live
Looking for somewhere that I can lay my head
I’m lucky if I make it through the night
But I can’t sleep
Knowing that You’re one more step ahead of me
I’m a fool for ever thinking You’d just let me go
That’s not the way it’s ever gone before
I’m Yours

You catch me like a thief in the night
You hold me when I put up a fight
You chase me when I run from Your light
Because You love, You won’t give up
‘Til my heart is stolen" Brandon Heath. Stolen lyrics

Honestly.. could he have written it any better? I have been WANTING to run from the life I was meant to live for too long now. My illness might be keeping me from being able to live in Africa right now, and from being in the Peace or Hunger Corps... but God knew that I would get sick. He knew this. It is time to stop being angry for that. It is time to heal, and to start using what happened to me, and what I still deal with health wise to minister to others. We should never be the same after we encounter the love of God.

A Very Bad Blogger

"We fall short and that's the beautiful part. Broken, flawed, vulnerable people like you and me, are invited to be the hands and feet of a Jesus who loves us exactly as we are and yet, loves us was too much to let us stay that way."

Those words are so lovely and perfect to me. It is the raw, never ending truth. They are a paraphrase from a Nooma video I saw, or maybe it was just Rob Bell. Regardless, it was in my journal over and over again. We as humans, who are so broken, so flawed can run to Jesus. He takes us in, and holds us. The beautiful thing is that He does not stop there. He heals our wounds. The holes in His sweet hands, heals the holes in our hearts. I wish that people could love us for how we are, but as I have learned (especially recently) that rarely exists. Therefore, making our relationship with Jesus even more meaningful and special. He loves me even though I fail miserably everyday of my life. Not just miserably, but royally. But he is continually making better plans for me, and knocking (sometimes punching) at the door of my heart to grow in His love.

"God immerses us in mercy, stitches together our shredded souls. Our big God blesses our small faith." Max Lucado

Now anyone that knows me knows how much i love max. yes, we are on a first name basis now. jealous? i just can not help but wonder what it would have been like to grow up with him as a father... okay off topic. Anyways, I am just picturing God stitching up my "shredded soul" . Pretty much almost daily. How beautiful, glorious, and humbling that is. What a beautiful messes. Precious, precious, love.

Not sure that i really had a point for this entry, but i figured since i entitled it "a very bad blogger" i could get away with it all :) my goal for 2011...is to get better at this. mostly i rambled, mostly i said the same thing over and over... but today, tonight, i am okay with that.