Stolen

Sometimes, the place you wanna run from is the place that will make you great.....

These are the words in my journal that are popping up at me today. I would say that I don't know why, but that would be a bold faced lie. I do know why... I have always struggled with wanting to run. I love to run.. recreationally and in my life. God has relinquished me from the actual actions of running so long ago( which is why i am still in nashville)... which i had to remind myself of recently. It is funny how you can overcome something and someone (an ex-boyfriend possibly) can throw it in your face and it starts to just bubble and fester and you forget... that God actually delivered you from that. Satan just used them to make you forget to celebrate God's glory and deliverance. In all this realization.. i saw what I had not allowed God to deliver me from... the WANT to run. There in lying the reason for this sentence that was so blindingly imprinted in my mind today.. almost like a billboard with cheesy flashing lights surrounding it. The places we want to run and hide from are the exact places God has places us in to mold us into who we should be. If it is His plan.. it is great! He does not have any horrible plans... just to our eyes they are at times. If we spend all of our time wanting to run from it think about what we are missing out on. so much. It is time to stop wanting to run. Time to stop wanting to be anywhere but here.

"I’m a fugitive
Running from the life that I was meant to live
Looking for somewhere that I can lay my head
I’m lucky if I make it through the night
But I can’t sleep
Knowing that You’re one more step ahead of me
I’m a fool for ever thinking You’d just let me go
That’s not the way it’s ever gone before
I’m Yours

You catch me like a thief in the night
You hold me when I put up a fight
You chase me when I run from Your light
Because You love, You won’t give up
‘Til my heart is stolen" Brandon Heath. Stolen lyrics

Honestly.. could he have written it any better? I have been WANTING to run from the life I was meant to live for too long now. My illness might be keeping me from being able to live in Africa right now, and from being in the Peace or Hunger Corps... but God knew that I would get sick. He knew this. It is time to stop being angry for that. It is time to heal, and to start using what happened to me, and what I still deal with health wise to minister to others. We should never be the same after we encounter the love of God.