Jesus wasn't for Self-righteousness

“what a lot of people call religion is actually fear.” Rob Bell

"“I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”

-Gandhi"

(if you are reading this i assume you saw my disclaimer on facebook. I realize not every Christian is like this.. as well as i realize not all in the church of christ's that practice this way are all like this.. I KNOW.. i promise.. i know..please forgive me if i act like i don't see that, but i do, also excuse the jumbled thoughts..horrible blogger here)SO.. I will admit I usually hate certain kinda of controversy. That is why I wildly stay away from politics, unless something just really peaks my interest. I hate the back and forth fighting and shooting each other in the foot that usually happens.. ON BOTH SIDES. I have honestly sat down many a time to "de-friend" every single person I am friends with (family or not, democratic or republican) who spend half their time online bashing whatever side, or politician they don't agree with. However,with that said.. I did notice what was going on this weekend between the whole Rob Bell controversy and the horrible, nasty things said about him regarding his beliefs and on his new book. And yes, the infamous John Piper "Farewell, Rob Bell" tweet. I was so ashamed and horrified for so many reasons. First because all these people had not even read his book yet, but because all this drama and gossip was not only in the Christian media.. but ALL OVER! It is shameful. I want to run away from it all. Don't we all have enough drama in our own lives? What happened to Christians loving each other, and coming to each other in private with stuff like that? I guess the conveniences of Internet happened, or maybe we have always been this mean. It prompted a blog article from Jason Boyett with a eye-opening, true quote," This is why people hate us. There is no meaner, more hateful person on Earth than a Christian who suspects you have gotten your theology wrong"

How sad is it that the quote is SO true. For some reason this stuff has not left my heart. I don't want to debate anything on rather Rob Bell is right, wrong, crazy, or awesome. If you want to know my personal thoughts on him.. just ask me personally. I am not going to get into the drama or crazy of it all. This post is rather on something that has always been on my heart, and these events just prompted me to put it down.

I grew up in a rather.. um strict (because I hate the words conservative and liberal) church. It was the church of Christ, but it was no average church of Christ. As wonderful ,and amazing some of the people I went to church with were (I was blessed in so many ways.. please do not get me wrong), the beliefs were.. interesting. There was no use of the million dollar buildings built other than worship services.. no gym, no youth groups, no fellowship hall,no helping orphans, no mission trips, no helping the homeless. nothing of the sort. If you wanted to do this it must be on your own time. Also, if you were divorced or a child of divorce it was like walking around with the scarlet letter posted not only to your face, but your butt as well. Forget the Holy Spirit.. he was truly the "Forgotten God". I did experience a lot of love in different ways in this church, but in some was I experienced much hate. There are some people who I consider family that I met out of this church, and to this day I love them dearly and they love me the same. However, that does not discount how I pretty much lost count the times I would be told I was going to Hell. Rather it was for my parents being divorced, listening to Christian music, being okay with drinking,dancing, wearing jeans to church, or talking about the Holy Spirits and miracles. Wait.. did someone say miracles?? I thought those died with the apostles...yes, now you are getting a clear picture of this environment. It was the place that gives churches of Christ, and even Christians a bad name. BUT, let me make myself VERY, EXTREMELY clear.. this is not the only place that gives Christians a bad name (cue Westboro Baptist Church.. John Piper.... the elect doctrine bible beaters, etc.). This is just the scenario I grew up around.

This had a SEVERE impact on me growing up, and after the fact. Good things and bad. Anger, pain, depression, sadness all followed. Crying day after day losing friends and people I have known for years in my life. I even lost friends for going to Harding for school, because to them Harding is very "liberal". Can you imagine being told you were going to hell all the time, or people treating you like you were less than human just because you believed in the Holy Spirit and liked to praise Jesus with some instruments? Let me make that .. really praise Jesus at all! Yes, I know some of you know EXACTLY how I feel. I just praise God that I had an amazing mother who prayed and prayed , and had the God-given wisdom to show me that that is not what Jesus is really all about. Otherwise, who knows where I would be today. I again want to make it clear, that I love these people.. even the ones who harmed me and others. This is not about creating more hate and bitterness, but about awareness. Bitterness and hate are the easy way out, but in the end just destroy. Choose forgiveness, choose love. I have the same love for them that I have for everyone. I do not just pick and chose who I love. That would be totally against everything I believe, and would be highly hypocritical(which I am sure you have seen in me before.. i am not perfect.. sad i know). I more just feel very sad for those stuck in this way, because I know there is so much more out there that I want them to experience. I also feel like that way of practicing skips the whole..."Love one another" part of the Bible. I want to run up to them and show them the love Jesus has for everyone.. and for them to experience Jesus.. with arms wide open, and their hearts pouring out. Alas, I can not save everyone. I can just live my life.

This whole Rob Bell/John Piper issue just almost brought some of those feelings back to me. Not in an angry way, but just sad and frustrated. Why the drama? I know Christians are human, but can't you see this is why people hate us? Why can't you see this? We need to be out there loving people, showing people love, looking at our own sins and mistakes, helping those around us. We are losing people folks with the hatred and mundane religious practices. Oddly enough.. Jesus spoke out against such... ever heard of the Pharisees? Rob Bell attracts those people in this world that a lot of people could not. There are people out there hurting, drying, reaching out for help, and what are we doing? Blasting each other in the public media , and acting no different than those politicians in the White House who blast each other over and over daily. There is just something so wrong with this picture. So wrong. We need to stop giving people an excuse to not believe in God (if you don't believe in God.. just know that I love you too..). I am not so naive to want to say.. "Why can't we just all get along".. I know how the world works, but I also know that we can get our act together in some way. Why can't we start, one by one reclaiming ourselves and our faith.. why can't we dream of a life where one shows the true love and brilliance of God? A group of people who really desire God, love Him, and love people can change the world. There are people out there who are dying, starving, hurting... why are we spending our time disowning each other and treating each other horribly. And for goodness sake , John Piper... read his book first. Leave the drama in middle and high school.. wouldn't that be nice? Also, again in case you missed it... READ THE BOOK FIRST.. and let's show the world what Jesus was REALLY about!

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury,pardon;

where there is doubt, faith;

where there is despair, hope;

where there is darkness, light;

and where there is sadness, joy.

Lord, grant that I may not so much seek

to be consoled as to console;

to be understood as to understand;

to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;

and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

--Prayer of St. Francis