Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Thursdays 10: on Nashville!

Visit Lora's for the original!

If you do not live in Nashville.. you might not appreciate this. Fair warning! Recently Rolling Stones named my city (yes, I was actually BORN and raised here) the "Best Music Scene" in the country. With Adele on the cover I might add!! Also, our music venues, bars, restaurants, record stores, and clothing stores were also recognized. To the best Music Scene in the country award.. I want to say "DUH"... but I won't (or I guess I already did), but they glad you FINALLY noticed. The endless country and christian artists that live here are known, but also The Black Keys, Ben Folds, Kings of Leon, Jack White, sometimes Mumford & Sons, and many more call Music City Home as well. Keisha lives here too, but I am sorry, I can not recognize her as a musician of any kind... except a horrible one. I have been feeling guilty lately about my attitude towards Nashville. I want to be out west, and have been so rude to my amazing home. It has not helped that my best friend (Sorry Nicole) likes to talk bad about Nashville too, which encourages me to do it as well... when really if she actually knew a lot about Nashville and spent time here she would LOVE it. The food we have (you never got to know it sorry when i was sick) she would love, the funky clothing and record stores she would love, the shopping love, the random places... love, and the music she would love. So, I decided to dedicate Thursday's 10 to Nashville. Reasons to love it, and reasons why it is great to live here! Nashville, I apologize for being so mean. I believe I am just bitter that SO many people are moving here, taking over, and making my morning and afternoon commutes to and from work miserable. Random 10...

1. Music Venues... such as Exit Inn, Mercy Lounge, 12th & Porter, Station Inn, some of the oldest and most famous honky tonk venues (not for me ha ha) in the country, Grand Ole Opry, and so much more. The music venues are endless.

2. The Ryman. I felt this needed its own number really. This famous venue is 119 years old, and many call it "God's listening room". Having experienced concerts here, I must agree. There really is no other place like it. There are no bad seats, and the acoustics are outstanding. Love. it.

3. Vintage record stores such as Grimey's and Jack White's studio Third Man. Who would have better music and vintage stuff than Jack White?

4. Fun shopping and vintage stores.. that include famous people's clothing ha ha. Hillsboro Village, 12th Ave. South. Some of the places around town clothed people like The Beatles, Elvis, Johnny Cash, Kid Rock, Bob Dylan, and of course Jack White. Nashville is the land of skinny jeans. Yes we have TONS of cowboy boots, but really it is mostly about the skinny jeans, funky, and vintage styles around here lately. The shopping is becoming endless with indoor, outdoor, classic, vintage, elegant, funky, and trendy shops around every corner.

5. Food. The food choices are ENDLESS. Everyday something new, funky, and original opens. Burger Up (look it up. so yummy!), Sunset Grill, Puckets, Mafiaozas (john mayer loves it),
McNamara's Pub (so fun), Baja Burrito, PM, and all the other Nashville original's listed at this link, GiGI's Cupcakes is swell too. Fido as well.

6. Radnor Lake and all of our other amazing places to hike! they are endless. But Radnor tops them all for me. Who else has a park and place to hike right in the middle of the city??

7. Friendly people. Hey... it is still the south sometimes! Although, with the influx of people moving here it has started to become less friendly. Even still... let us all remember last years flood and how we came together like no other place has.

8. Downtown Franklin. So much to love.

9. Cheekwood, The Frist, The Parthenon, and so much more.

10. City, with a small town feel. Don't know how we do it, but that is Nashville. I can not go somewhere with out seeing someone I know. Daily.

No matter what. It is home. No matter where I will live, it will always be lovely, and it will always be home.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Thursday's Ten: the one on FORGIVENESS

If you have read my blog at all or if you know anything that is going on with me.. you would know that I am in a season of so many things and times in my life. One being a season of forgiveness and healing. So why not do a Thursday's Ten on random facts, thoughts, quotes, and musings of forgiveness? Warning: this is a VERY simple post on forgiveness due to my lack of time, and very jumbled... so forgive me? Not my best work.. oh well :)

1. If you do not forgive you are really only hurting yourself. They are not hurting, heck they have probably moved on and have possibly even forgotten about you or whatever has happened between you. SO forgiveness is so key to healing on all levels. You can not heal, nor grow, nor move on without it.

2. Forgiveness (even for those of us blessed with the gift of Mercy, and blessed ABUNDANTLY with it) is sometimes just plain, sticking hard! I personally could have never even started on this journey of forgiveness and healing with out God... He carries me when I just want to lay on the floor and cry, or when I just want to be a witch to people. It is amazing what happens in my life when I allow the Spirit (or when He just comes in anyway) to move and work in my life.

3. Forgiveness is not about forgetting. The whole forgive and forget thing... would be nice, but that is not really what forgiveness is about. We are after all somewhat human. It is about releasing someone from what they have done to you, and releasing someone from the chains that YOU have allowed them to have on you. (After note... I wrote MOST of this awhile ago and this week saw something on a friend's status about this.. love how the Holy Spirit works in all things)

4. "Grace, like water, flows to the lowest part" -Philip Yancey. This is so true. God's grace does flow to all of us, and especially the lowest... so why can I not practice even a fraction of this?

5. Forgiveness is NOT about letting people walk all over you, and if you think it is... you missed the point. You can have a balance, which is something I am really trying to let God change in me. I often confused the 2. You will still live in the chains people have put around you if you do. You do not even have to speak to the person you forgive again. That person may not even be alive.

6. "To forgive is to set a prisoner free, and discover that prisoner was you" Lewis B. Smedes

7."Forgiving is love's toughest work, and love's biggest risk. If you twist it into something it was never meant to be, it can make you a doormat or an insufferable manipulator. Forgiving seems almost unnatural. Our sense of fairness tells us people should pay for the wrong they do. But forgiving is love's power to break nature's rule." ~Lewis B. Smedes

8."Without forgiveness life is governed by... an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation"~Roberto Assagioli which goes along with one of my favorite songs of all time by Coldplay (surprised?). Death and All His Friends:
"No I don't wanna battle from beginning to end;
I don't wanna cycle, recycle revenge;
I don't wanna follow death and all his friends".

9. Learn to forgive yourself. If you can not even learn this.. it makes it much harder to forgive others. I am learning to do this daily. Learning to accept God's mercy, God's grace, God's love, and God's beautiful forgiveness in my own life. Something that does NOT come easily for me. I often have an inkling to think that I am being "punished" for my past mistakes. In reality my Father does not act that way, because that is an inertly human behavior that we have created for ourselves in our sin and guilt that has arisen.

10. a little less serious.. I know I posted this song yesterday, but it really came to me at the perfect time!
I've been trying to live without you now
But I miss you, baby
The more I know, the less I understand
And all the things I thought I figured out, I have to learn again

I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my heart is so shattered
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore


All the people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down, you know they hurt your pride
Better put it all behind you; cause life goes on
You keep carrin' that anger, it'll eat you up inside




Thursday, March 24, 2011

Thursday's 10: Songs I am loving Now

SO.. jumping on another band wagon thanks to a few blogs I have been and in particular my friend Lora's! As many of you know, I am a music lover. Just a little :). So, for my first Thursday's 10.. I thought I would generously grace you with 10 of the songs I am enjoying in my life right now. I know i did the What I am loving Wednesday, but I wanted to love something on Thursday too.. okay? Happy Thursday!! :)

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Jesus wasn't for Self-righteousness

“what a lot of people call religion is actually fear.” Rob Bell


"“I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”

-Gandhi"



(if you are reading this i assume you saw my disclaimer on facebook. I realize not every Christian is like this.. as well as i realize not all in the church of christ's that practice this way are all like this.. I KNOW.. i promise.. i know..please forgive me if i act like i don't see that, but i do, also excuse the jumbled thoughts..horrible blogger here)SO.. I will admit I usually hate certain kinda of controversy. That is why I wildly stay away from politics, unless something just really peaks my interest. I hate the back and forth fighting and shooting each other in the foot that usually happens.. ON BOTH SIDES. I have honestly sat down many a time to "de-friend" every single person I am friends with (family or not, democratic or republican) who spend half their time online bashing whatever side, or politician they don't agree with. However,with that said.. I did notice what was going on this weekend between the whole Rob Bell controversy and the horrible, nasty things said about him regarding his beliefs and on his new book. And yes, the infamous John Piper "Farewell, Rob Bell" tweet. I was so ashamed and horrified for so many reasons. First because all these people had not even read his book yet, but because all this drama and gossip was not only in the Christian media.. but ALL OVER! It is shameful. I want to run away from it all. Don't we all have enough drama in our own lives? What happened to Christians loving each other, and coming to each other in private with stuff like that? I guess the conveniences of Internet happened, or maybe we have always been this mean. It prompted a blog article from Jason Boyett with a eye-opening, true quote," This is why people hate us. There is no meaner, more hateful person on Earth than a Christian who suspects you have gotten your theology wrong"

How sad is it that the quote is SO true. For some reason this stuff has not left my heart. I don't want to debate anything on rather Rob Bell is right, wrong, crazy, or awesome. If you want to know my personal thoughts on him.. just ask me personally. I am not going to get into the drama or crazy of it all. This post is rather on something that has always been on my heart, and these events just prompted me to put it down.

I grew up in a rather.. um strict (because I hate the words conservative and liberal) church. It was the church of Christ, but it was no average church of Christ. As wonderful ,and amazing some of the people I went to church with were (I was blessed in so many ways.. please do not get me wrong), the beliefs were.. interesting. There was no use of the million dollar buildings built other than worship services.. no gym, no youth groups, no fellowship hall,no helping orphans, no mission trips, no helping the homeless. nothing of the sort. If you wanted to do this it must be on your own time. Also, if you were divorced or a child of divorce it was like walking around with the scarlet letter posted not only to your face, but your butt as well. Forget the Holy Spirit.. he was truly the "Forgotten God". I did experience a lot of love in different ways in this church, but in some was I experienced much hate. There are some people who I consider family that I met out of this church, and to this day I love them dearly and they love me the same. However, that does not discount how I pretty much lost count the times I would be told I was going to Hell. Rather it was for my parents being divorced, listening to Christian music, being okay with drinking,dancing, wearing jeans to church, or talking about the Holy Spirits and miracles. Wait.. did someone say miracles?? I thought those died with the apostles...yes, now you are getting a clear picture of this environment. It was the place that gives churches of Christ, and even Christians a bad name. BUT, let me make myself VERY, EXTREMELY clear.. this is not the only place that gives Christians a bad name (cue Westboro Baptist Church.. John Piper.... the elect doctrine bible beaters, etc.). This is just the scenario I grew up around.

This had a SEVERE impact on me growing up, and after the fact. Good things and bad. Anger, pain, depression, sadness all followed. Crying day after day losing friends and people I have known for years in my life. I even lost friends for going to Harding for school, because to them Harding is very "liberal". Can you imagine being told you were going to hell all the time, or people treating you like you were less than human just because you believed in the Holy Spirit and liked to praise Jesus with some instruments? Let me make that .. really praise Jesus at all! Yes, I know some of you know EXACTLY how I feel. I just praise God that I had an amazing mother who prayed and prayed , and had the God-given wisdom to show me that that is not what Jesus is really all about. Otherwise, who knows where I would be today. I again want to make it clear, that I love these people.. even the ones who harmed me and others. This is not about creating more hate and bitterness, but about awareness. Bitterness and hate are the easy way out, but in the end just destroy. Choose forgiveness, choose love. I have the same love for them that I have for everyone. I do not just pick and chose who I love. That would be totally against everything I believe, and would be highly hypocritical(which I am sure you have seen in me before.. i am not perfect.. sad i know). I more just feel very sad for those stuck in this way, because I know there is so much more out there that I want them to experience. I also feel like that way of practicing skips the whole..."Love one another" part of the Bible. I want to run up to them and show them the love Jesus has for everyone.. and for them to experience Jesus.. with arms wide open, and their hearts pouring out. Alas, I can not save everyone. I can just live my life.

This whole Rob Bell/John Piper issue just almost brought some of those feelings back to me. Not in an angry way, but just sad and frustrated. Why the drama? I know Christians are human, but can't you see this is why people hate us? Why can't you see this? We need to be out there loving people, showing people love, looking at our own sins and mistakes, helping those around us. We are losing people folks with the hatred and mundane religious practices. Oddly enough.. Jesus spoke out against such... ever heard of the Pharisees? Rob Bell attracts those people in this world that a lot of people could not. There are people out there hurting, drying, reaching out for help, and what are we doing? Blasting each other in the public media , and acting no different than those politicians in the White House who blast each other over and over daily. There is just something so wrong with this picture. So wrong. We need to stop giving people an excuse to not believe in God (if you don't believe in God.. just know that I love you too..). I am not so naive to want to say.. "Why can't we just all get along".. I know how the world works, but I also know that we can get our act together in some way. Why can't we start, one by one reclaiming ourselves and our faith.. why can't we dream of a life where one shows the true love and brilliance of God? A group of people who really desire God, love Him, and love people can change the world. There are people out there who are dying, starving, hurting... why are we spending our time disowning each other and treating each other horribly. And for goodness sake , John Piper... read his book first. Leave the drama in middle and high school.. wouldn't that be nice? Also, again in case you missed it... READ THE BOOK FIRST.. and let's show the world what Jesus was REALLY about!

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury,pardon;

where there is doubt, faith;

where there is despair, hope;

where there is darkness, light;

and where there is sadness, joy.

Lord, grant that I may not so much seek

to be consoled as to console;

to be understood as to understand;

to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;

and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

--Prayer of St. Francis

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

You are Beautiful my dear, So beautiful

The thoughts in the post have been swirling around in my head and heart for months, maybe even years. Not only do these thoughts resonate from my own life experiences and choices, but also from the many other loved ones in my life, as well as those who I do not know. I only know from a girls prospective on how it feels to not be beautiful, to not be good enough and to feel ashamed. I am sure guys struggle with this in their own way. The problem today is that as women we put way too much money on how guys think and look at us, especially on the outside. When we start realizing that it is not about us I wonder how much more beautiful on the inside and out we will start to feel? I know most of you would rather eat dirt and throw water balloons at me than to hear something on how "If God made us... we must be beautiful". I know, I get it. In times that I am ashamed and feel unloved.. that is not always a comfort to me. It is almost like saying.. well my mom loves me, or my mom thinks I am beautiful. Means a lot, but I mean... yah. I think everyone gets that.
This Tenth Ave. North song pierces my heart in so many different ways. I have been that teared stained girl huddled in a corner.. trying so hard to hide from everything that I have done and thought. Wondering, and pleading with God.. "How did I get here??" I have made myself feel un beautiful, unloved, and un wanted, as well as I have let others make me feel this way. Like the girl in the song.. I always know all the right answers, the rehearsed lines, I always know what to do.. but have been too weak to try. Do we really believe that the Spirit can lift us up? That He can work through us? To convict us, make us realize, and open my eyes.. to how it is not about what I have been done, but what has ALREADY been done for me and what can be done THROUGH me. To make me open my heart with arms wide open and shout out that : "I am MORE than the choices and mistakes I have made.. SO much more". We can not do it alone. When we try we get the world of shame, and brokenness that we have today. Let the Lord heal you today. Bring on the healing Lord no matter how many problems we... I create.

Another song was sent to me (by the person I love most in this world) that has not been able to leave my heart is by Mercy Me. As much as I don't like to hear it and it does not mean a lot at times.. I am the one He madly loves and chose to die for. You are that one. He madly loves you. We are treasured and scared to Him. We are so beautiful inside and out to him. As much as we all want that from a person in life (and we were made for some of that) the truth is EVEN if we have this in life.. if we don't have this with Him.. we will always have a hole in our life and we can never feel truly beautiful. No matter how much we feel unloveable, ugly, and broken.. we are loved. We will always be loved.. and we are made for SO much more. We are more than the lies we have allowed to be kept in our hearts. I pray so much for us to stop hurting each other, and stop allowing ourselves to spread hate and make people feel like they are not loved. As long as there are humans here.. it may never come to be. Which is why we have to change something in our hearts, and realize that no matter how much people step and trample on you... we are still beautiful. Beautifully and wonderfully made. It should not just be a man who has to seek God because our hearts are so close to God.. it should be the whole world. All I know is that even though those around me have given up on me and betrayed me, and even though I betray myself... God has not given up on me. He has not forgotten the plans He has for each of us. Lord, let that be enough. Let us feel beautiful.. so beautiful and loved in you. In Your arms. You won't relent until you have it all... why should I Lord? My heart is yours. Heal our souls, and heal our hearts. I want to be known for my beauty on the inside... I want it to shine out. My heart hurts for all those who feel so ugly and ashamed of themselves. My heart also hurts and pains for the role that the "church" has played in this as well. The way so many have been shunned and thrown out for their mistakes. As jumbled up as my thoughts are.. You are beautiful my dear, so terribly, wonderfully beautiful.

"You really won’t understand your life as a woman until you understand this: You are passionately loved by the God of the universe.

You are passionately hated by his Enemy.

And so, dear heart, it is time for your restoration. For there is One greater than your Enemy. One who has sought you out from the beginning of time. He has come to heal your broken heart and restore your feminine soul."

- "Captivating" -John and Staci Eldridge





MercyMe - Beautiful (Official Music Video). Watch more top selected videos about: MercyMe

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Reflecting

I had planned on writing this post yesterday on Valentine's Day, but my day ended up being extremely busy. I always planned on a 3rd post on true love, but when an amazing person said to me : "I would REALLY like to be a Valentines hater... But if GOD is LOVE ....then I really don't want to be a hater". I could not stop thinking about that. I had already been trying and asking God to change my mind and feelings about this day of love, but when I got that message from her, I knew it had to happen. So I did it! Well, I let God do it. He really did it all. I was not even 1% bitter, or upset. I was only sad that to be reminded of losing one of my best friends, but there was not bitterness in me. I have a God who loves me beyond my imagination. Who loves me as if I was the only human on earth. ("God has infinite attention to spare for each one of us. He does not deal with us in the mass. You are as much alone with Him as if you were the only being He had ever created." -C.S. Lewis) He loves me enough to "chase" after me. As Brandon Heath so wonderfully wrote... He won't give up until my heart is stolen!! I have been blessed to have a love on Valentine's Day for many years, to be able to spend time with girlfriends, and also to be alone. No Valentine's Day ever could compare with the peace I was given from my God, my Father like I had yesterday. It was more beautiful than any amount of flowers, gifts, or romance anyone man or anyone could have ever given me, and will ever give me. For that, I am so thankful.

I did have a wonderful day. Starting out with surprising my mom at work with flowers that smelled like chocolate and carob (her chocolate), then I had lunch with Jenna (which was the best lunch ever), after that I got to go to work and play with my Valentine Heidi


and finally to end the day I had a wonderful Italian dinner with my dad, stepmom, their 2 best friends, and Joshua. It all ended with me dominating all of them in Phase 10. Yes you heard that right... I won!!! :) FINALLY. See what awesome things can happen with a change of mind and heart?? :)

On a happy note... with a relationship I refuse to accept anything less than this :


True love is not candy, flowers, pink, or feel good romance. All that is wonderful and can be apart of it, but true love is so much more. Love is something can be shown to everyone. To those who have no one. All you not single people, remember those of your friends who can be lonely and have no one. Don't act superior just because you have someone.. you are not. Those who are single.. get rid of the bitterness, but realize it is okay to feel lonely. Try to fill the void with something greater. I hope you were able to enjoy the day. single or not, and were able to love someone. If not, that is okay.. because today is another day, and really... all you need is love :)

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Black Heart's on Valentine's Day

If you hate Valentine's Day.. obviously you are not alone. With the invention of "Singles Awareness Day" it is apparent that haters are running rampant and they are fighting to be noticed on this holiday, and day of love and pink. One thing I feel as though we should all keep in mind.. at times even though this holiday can been cheesy and irritating, BUT sometimes a bitter, self-absorbed, man-hating woman can be even worse. MUCH MUCH worse. Even so, for this first part of the entry I will indulge the bitter, sad, lonely woman that can come out in us all.

Reason's It might be OKAY to hate VDAY:

FOR GIRLS

1 You can’t moan about it. If you’re single, you sound like a dried-up old spinster; if you’re in a relationship, everyone assumes you’ve hit a rough patch.

2 There is nothing more disappointing than a man you’d previously earmarked as husband material expressing his romantic intent with his hatred of the day and rubbing it in your face the whole time.

3 With the stress, all-over body waxing and pressure to out romance everyone else, Valentine’s Day is like a mini-wedding . .. but in February, the dampest, coldest,month. Nobody should be expected to get married in February. And certainly not every year.

4 It produces brain-rottingly awful verse, such as, “How we gain yearly, from the love we share dearly”.

5 All the displays of perfect, flippy-haired coupledom only serve to turbo-charge the sneaking suspicion that everyone else is far more in love than you are.

6 The girl you most dislike will receive the perfect gift and in the normal selfish and ungrateful fashion that "those girls" usually act.. as soon as their guy is out of earshot they will complain, over and over again on how their gift was not good enough.

7 There’s no such thing as a successful Valentine’s Day. Even if you do get a mystery card/gift/bunch of flowers, it will almost certainly be from someone insultingly awful.

8 You become embroiled in competitive dating battles. Okay, so Charlotte in marketing got the most expensive roses, but you got the best restaurant. Aah! Look what you’ve become! Ungrateful.

9 It is very unhealthy. Guys want us to look good, but yet they give us pounds and pounds of candy. Makes sense right?

10 Fluff, Pink, and lace only ever work for three-year-olds and Italian fashion designers.

FOR BOYS

11 It makes you hate your fellow man. You can guarantee all the decent restaurants will be booked up "those guys", leaving the rest of us paying double for horrible food in a restaurant we hate.

12 It makes men do stupid things, like light candles and stuff.

13 It gets men into trouble when they don’t do stupid things like light candles and stuff. Because, actually, she really wanted you to, but prompting is so unromantic, isn’t it?

14 It’s such a rip-off. With flowers, dinner and cabs, you’re looking at a hundred quid minimum. Wouldn’t she just prefer the cash instead?

15 In new relationships, whether or not you take her out or buy her a gift speaks volumes about “where you’re at”, way before you’re ready for the “are we having a relationship?” chat. (Like you were ever ready for it anyway.)

16 . Is it the right gift? The wrong gift? Too cheap? Too much? AHHHHHH

17 Valentine’s Day focuses her mind, and you feel as sick as a dog every time there’s a lull in the conversation.

18 Isn’t one compulsory annual shopping event enough? Christmas is just about excusable. No such luck on the 14th.

19 Where are the man presents? What do we get out of it?

20 There is nothing more disappointing than a woman you’d previously earmarked as wife material not even laughing at the sheep card.

**So there... some reasons it is okay to hate Valentine's Day. There is also that aching feeling in your heart.... that sad lonely feeling. Either missing the one that got away, or just missing something and someone you wish that you had. Everyone that has been dumped has had that gut wrenching feeling. That feeling that you think will never go away. Of course Valentine's Day just magnifies it. I apologize for this video I am going to post. I know it is Twilight, and I have promised to only discuss this with other Twilight fans, but this is a good, dramatic video. Showing the pain that can happen. The pain of watching month after month go by you, while you are sad and everyone else has moved on. Your friends forgetting about you, losing friends because of a breakup, and not knowing what to do with yourself. Warning.. This is dramatic...

How a girl can feel after a breakup

For those who hate Valentine's Day... I wish that I could help you not be so bitter this year, and realize that you can find joy, and true love elsewhere. Even so, I know better than anyone that sometimes you just need one of those days. One of those bitter, I hate love, singles awareness days. I just hope next year, single, or not, you will come to your senses and realize life, and love is about so much more. But for now, get out your voo-doo doll and your Ben & Jerry's double chocolate fudge and mope a little. :)

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Beauty in the Darkness


SO.. I know I posted this to my profile and other places several times... but how could I not post it here too! I have been trying to spread this beauty around to all. I feel so strongly that it needs to be seen! Christians protecting the Muslim protesters in Cairo. Thank you!! I know so many are tired of talking about what has been happening in Egypt, everyone has moved on. I understand that. I have been there. Does not make it right. Does not necessarily make it wrong either. I know everyone thinks that I can't get it out of my heart and mind because of my family, but really there is one thing being pounded out in my heart and head over and over again. That is this: "Break my heart for what breaks Yours. Everything I am for Your kingdoms cause.." I have prayed this so many times. I know that is a huge reason why I have been blessed with a heart for so many. So many that are hurting, and a huge part of why I wanted to become a social worker... especially in the adoption/foster care realm. Why I break down and cry at all the orphan/Aids/Africa commercials. So many might make fun of me for that.. I do not care. I welcome the teasing. Sometimes even encourage it ;)

Back on topic... my heart hurts for Egypt, but at the same time pictures like the one above make it a sort of beautiful mess. There is always that glimmer, and sliver of hope. Not sure why I used the word "sliver". I detest it so. Right under the "m" word. I continue to pray for that country. For safety and for more moments like those above. I continue to pray for Americans and all over to soften their hearts and to put their political guns back into their holsters for just a bit( I don't want this to be a political thing at all. I hate politics if you must know) To also realize, what they see and hear in the news/media is often tainted, diluted, and/or embellished. I wish people would not forget. Sometimes people are so spoiled with the way we live here, it is hard to even believe that is going on in other parts of the world. We like to turn our heads away and continue to live ignorantly. In all honesty, I try to do just that. Every single day I try to forget and just live my life but, the pounding on my heart and mind just won't let me. So I keep praying. Praying for freedom and deliverance that may or may not come for these beautiful people. My family. God's loves them too you know. And not just the Coptic Christians. Break my heart Lord for what breaks Yours.

Okay, enough ranting and terrible blogging. Update on my family. My mom was able to talk to both of her brothers, my uncles (you re welcome for me stating the obvious), on Friday!! I will not say much to protect privacy. However, they are alive. They are not able to go out of their houses at all. They are allowed to leave by law during the day, but it is just too dangerous right now. They are having so many problems with looters, and people trying to set their houses on fire. They stay inside. They are not allowed by law out at night. It is pretty scary and so sad. Even though the phone and Internet is back up.. it is still shady and not always working. That is all I will say. Thank you again to all that have asked and prayed! It is not forgotten. Keep praying for those who are out there fighting for the freedoms you and I take for granted everyday. Also, keep remembering that until you live there... don't act like you know what is or is not best for the country. Stop being selfish. After all, is this life really just all about America being #1? I would hope not. If so, shame on you. Love.

God calls us to change the way we look at folks. Not to see them as insiders or outsiders, liberals or conservatives. To label is to libel. -Max Lucado